My mom says I should keep an eye on it.

Something beautiful I experienced on Easter Sunday:

It was late in the afternoon and neither of my girls had napped, so they were acting a bit erratic -- thrilled to be alive one second; the next, they were bemoaning the misery of existence. I was sitting on the couch with both girls clamoring at my knees. Violet let out a sudden cry of frustration and rubbed her face into the top of my thigh, then bit, HARD. I yelped (loudly) and said sternly (also loudly) "Violet! NO! BITING!"

She promptly wailed, mouth open, vicious little chompers gleaming, eyes full of fat, woeful tears, and tried to climb into my lap. Mad, too, burst into tears, face squinched with despair as she successfully climbed into my lap, knocking Violet out of the way and crying in my face, "Mama, are you HAPPY? Maaaamaaa! Are. You. HAAAAPYYYY?"

I stared for a second in bewilderment, wondering where to even begin. I decided Mad was the easiest to calm, so I looked her in the eye and said (falsely), "Yes, Mad, I'm happy. See? It's okay!" And she stopped crying.

I grabbed Violet and pulled her into my lap, and after a moment, she calmed, too.

Less than a minute later, they were both settled comfortably, Mad at my left, Violet on my right. Mad said, "Lightning McQueen," with a contented sigh. (Lightning McQueen is currently my alter ego, according to her.) Violet was fast on her way to dozing off.

I decided this was the perfect metaphor for motherhood, all pain and angst one second, all tender and sweet the next. Sometimes all at once. It's a wonder we don't split at the seams, too full of extremes. It's a wonder that these threads that tie us are strong enough to withstand that, the constant flux of great and terrible, of that middle ground where nothing is sure except that you are theirs and they are yours and it's enough to keep you going. More than enough.

Later, I checked the bite and saw that rabid little monster drew blood with that bite, THROUGH MY JEANS. This is the same little girl that spins in circles in the living room, saying, "Wheeee" over and over again. What are you gonna do?

Listening: happy apple, "Calgon for Hetfield"